Moony's Truth
by McFlyingHPGirl
Summary: This is an account of when James, Sirius and Peter discover Remus is a werewolf, and how Remus had always felt like a misfit before that.


I watch as the rain drops come down onto the window faster and faster, their tracks on the glass distorting the vision of the bleak, grey day outside. It's almost night now, almost completely dark, but the day was not much different. Slowly, I turn my eyes towards the sky and can just make out the shape of the moon hidden behind the clouds. It's not a full moon today, but as it gets nearer and nearer, my fear and dread continue to grow. Even though it has become a routine now, I still cannot get used to it. I never can, try as I might.

Wondering how long I have been sitting here, completely motionless, just staring out at the dull day outside, I heave a sigh and go back to the book in my lap, unable to focus on anything but the dreading doom of the full moon. I always try to block these thoughts from my mind by trying to get lost in stories, and sometimes it even works, but when the dreaded day is nearer, it is all I can think about and it consumes me.

Closing my eyes, I rest my head against the wall behind me and try to focus on the positives. I have friends now, three wonderful friends. Having friends was something I had never even considered - after all, who would want to be friends with someone like me? Who would even want to be seen in my company? I know they do not know my actual state, but still it seems as if they are genuine friends, not the kind of people who would desert me if they knew the truth. Still, I cannot risk telling.

I smile as I remember why they first befriended me. It was James who came up to me after Transfiguration class one day and said he would pay me if I did his homework for him. I agreed, because at that point I had needed money more than anything, and after that he began including me in his group, consisting of him and Sirius, the most popular boys in our year, and a small boy called Peter who was always with them. At first I did not understand why, but then I realised James loved the admiration he got from this boy. We became a group of fast friends, and I discovered what it felt like to be truly happy.

Sometimes I consider telling them about my condition, but then I stop, because I cannot bring myself to do it. I hate having to lie every time they ask, but so far it has worked, even though there is a constant burden on my shoulders and a weight on my heart, and I wish I could tell somebody without having to worry about their judgement.

"Remus!" Sirius bursts into the Common Room and runs towards me. Pulling at my arm, he explains some prank he and James have pulled on Severus, and how it is 'completely hilarious'. He drags me out to see what they have done and I go gratefully, desperate to free my mind of the fears clouding up in it, although usually I would disapprove of something like this. I go and see their prank, and we laugh about it afterwards, but then James notices I look pale, and he asks me if I'm getting ill again. I know I need to come up with another excuse soon, but for now I just say I'm a bit depressed about my mother's health. They sympathise, but only for a little while this time, and I can't help noticing the suspicious glances thrown between Sirius and James. I tell them that I am sleepy and go up to my dormitory, but as I leave I can hear them begin to whisper.

Two days later, I babble some excuse about my mother's health deteriorating further, and run off, trying to ignore the highly suspicious looks I get from them this time. I know I have used this excuse before, but I must go now before my state is revealed to them. I run off through the tunnel, escorted by Madam Pomfrey, and into the Shrieking Shack, where she leaves me to complete my transformations into a werewolf. They are so painful I think death would be more merciful, and then I begin to lose my mind and memories, even of who I am, as it always happens when I transform.

Several hours have passed, and my thoughts are beginning to return to me, when I hear a slight shuffling from the trapdoor. Since I am still in my werewolf form, I jump up and scratch at the door. I fall back to the floor and turn into my human form at the same time the trapdoor opens and two faces stare down at me with wide eyes. Eyes that display sympathy, but not shock. Sirius and James. And then Peter's face join theirs, his eyes full of curiosity. I truly have no excuse now, I am lost for words.

A few days later, I sit under a tree, surrounded by my friends, our bond is now closer than ever. They are truly better than I thought. After they learned the truth about me that day, I could not read the expressions on their faces, except for Peter's, who just seemed confused. I thought they would desert me as soon as they knew, but here I was a few days later, with them still, laughing as James told me of his recent disastrous encounter with Lily. I knew they would put two and two together eventually, I just did not expect them to see through my charade so quickly. Even though they now know about my condition, or my 'furry little problem' as James has recently started calling it, I feel as if a great burden has been lifted from my chest. These are the best friends anyone could ask for, and I will always count myself lucky to be with them, counted as an equal in their group, and not some monster. I even have a new nickname – Moony – because of my connection with the moon. I am now happier than I can ever remember I have been.


End file.
